Happy Owly winter Time…

November 24th, 2011

So Christmas is on its way and  I’m just getting in the festive spirit . How about you?  Big Jay says we can put the tree up on the first day of December this year (although I’m not to sure exactly where its going yet, the Milly toy invasion has taken over the living room, but…  )   I cant wait!

I have also been designing winter scene cards to sell in my new etsy shop, if you get the chance to pop on over there is lots of fun stuff,  including a pretty snow owl piece I did to celebrate the season. When I was looking for owl inspiration for the piece  I found lots of  lovely owly-ness!  I know so many of you  (like me) are big owl fans,  it seemed wrong not to share.

So here they are, all my fave owly treats along with my finnished owl piece, which is part of  the icklebabe originals christmas card set.  Im really happy with how it came out and Im really excited about  the new shop too, its a temporary home over on Etsy until my website is completed in the new year.  I do LOVE etsy  its so much fun to browse around  but I am excited to see what the new site brings next year too, new beginnings ;) .

And  if you dont want the hassle of signing up to Etsy, but you have your eye on something in my shop,  I also have paypal . So  just drop me an order over on Twitter or at my email support@icklebabe.com , and I will get straight back to you :)

Ps.. couldn’t go away without mentioning the huge love and support I got from my last post, you have made me feel so loved and I was honestly so touched by all your amazingly kind words. If you can get well by good vibes then I’m sure to start feeling LOTS better soon!

BIG BIG thanku all,

&

Happy Owly Day to You!

Helen, Icklebabe xox

Owl print from Ohlouisedesigns , Cute Baby Hat from Maddie Lou Beanies ( if you have time its worth a visit just for the adorbs baby in hats pictures ;) ) ,  The wall Decals are available  from Wall Art Design and lastly the fun  Owl windmill party decorations  are from  Aubray at @Etsy .

The blanket is from Crickets at Home‘s stunning shop  ( In LOVE with everything over there! ) and although there is no owl mention on the description of the blanket, it looks so like owl feathers to me, so its in! ;) , the sequin owl evening bag is from Kate Spade, Stunning! and perfect for Christmas me thinks, what a great party icebreaker ! , the to die for little girl’s owl costume is from Your Sparkle Box , again just go and look for the pure sweetness, so many amazing dresses and tutu’s over there, its sheer genius! Lastly the cute owl necklace is from Enchanted leaves .

And this is my Homage to the Owl and her babies :) , available in both cards and as a signed print :) x

.. .. Just had a thought, why not have a ickle comp to celebrate Christmas and my new shop ? Okay, just leave a ickle comment below and I will enter you into a draw to win your own set of  6 original Art Christmas cards ( the owly one above and two more designs) . Re-tweet this post on twitter for an extra chance to win, GOOD LUCK! x

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The Fog

November 14th, 2011

Hello lovelies :) A bit of an unusual post for today. If you pop by regularly here  you know I usually write about what makes me happy, like cakes,  frilly pants,  or my latest doodles . Anything I have found pretty or yummy tasting usually ends up here really.

But just lately it’s been hard to concentrate on any of those pastimes and loves because something strange has been happening. And because this is an honest place, and also because you are all honestly my friends,  I wanted to share it with you. But I promise all normal silliness will resume after this post, just wanted to let you know what’s been going on in the world of ickle. Sometimes things do take a more serious turn don’t they? , but I guess that’s how you appreciate the jolly bits *wink ! …

When I was a little girl I had lots of dolls, most of them were plastic with big yellow hair and “boobies” and I never really warmed to them, but one day my mum bought me a set of little china dolls. They had tiny White painted faces with rose petal cheeks, big eyes and finely painted fluttery eyelashes. Their bodies were made of soft cloth but their arms and legs were bone white porcelain, I can’t tell you how much I loved them, I adored them.

I put them to bed with me each night and played with them constantly.  Then one day I dropped one,  my favourite one.  I heard her crack , I picked her up and her tiny leg was shattered. There was a wire running through her leg from knee to foot and it was holding the biggest china shards together. I knew if I showed it to anyone she would be taken away, the sharp bits too dangerous  for a little one to hold. So I took her quietly upstairs to my room. She had a very long velvet dress and I smoothed it down past her brokeness, the dress was thick and it covered all the damage.

And no-one knew, not for years and years except for me what was underneath that dress. But I couldn’t play with her anymore so she just sat and watched the games we played.  And that doll never let on, she just gazed out on the world with her pretty glazed eyes.

Your probably wondering where this is going, but let me just explain. Or rather start from the beginning…

This year stared with me getting the flu, it was a evil one and made me feel like total death for about a week. After that I still felt off, nothing I could really put my finger on . But weak I guess, and achy. I took lots of vitamins and drank lots of water and got lots of sleep but nothing really helped.  And I started to feel worse. Visits to the doctors came and went, tests were done, but nothing showed up.

So I pushed on, and ignored all the pains by taking lots of painkillers and drinking lots of coffee. But I started to feel very strange in my mind too,  just like having the flu or when your really drunk,  my head filled up with invisible, impenetrable fog.  Impossible to think past,  impossible to speak past,  almost impossible to breath past.

In this greyness, I lost words that should have been just right there to speak.  I lost ideas and thought’s  in the fog,  it was like being in a nightmare where I couldn’t wake up. And I was so tired, more than I’ve ever been, even when the kids were babies.   I thought maybe I was going mad, or maybe I was depressed, so I kept very quiet about the pains in my legs and the blankness in my head.  And I just sat and watched, doing as little as possible , sleeping whenever I could.  I watched,  in a the distance it seemed to me, as the year flew by.

Then one morning a few months ago I woke up in lots of pain, from the top of my head to the very tips of my toes was agony. And I was tired sooo tired. The energy required to open my eyes was too much. I lay there thinking if someone comes in and tells me I’ve been in a car accident I won’t be the least bit surprised. I wasn’t of course,  but I couldn’t move for over a week.

Now I can’t walk far. And the stairs I used to run up with milly tucked under one arm seem like mountains.

If I do try and walk for more than a few minutes, everything seems to run slower and slower until I just stop dead. like I’ve run out of fuel. I was thinking about it,  It’s a bit like being one of those inferior bunnies on the Duracell battery ad.

I used to be the one that kept going, now I very literally, slowly grind to a halt. I went for a little walk with the family yesterday for the first time in ages. By the the time we got near our house I was just shuffling , using millys buggy for balance, like an old lady, concentrating on every tiny step. Then comes the pain, everywhere! the pay off for any exertion is high ;)

The funny thing is the less I do, the better I feel. When I’m properly rested I can catch almost all of my thoughts and I can take on those stairs without needing to stop half way up.   But as soon as I try and do things again I fall  back into the darkness.  Its hard and a bit cruel to be honest . Who wants to live just watching ?  Sitting on that shelf,  I seem to have my very own brokenness now, one that’s hard to see,  Or understand .

I finally got a diagnosis this week though after lots of tests . I have something called CFS/ME , a chronic illness, probably brought on by an infection. Very little is know about it, but they think it has something to do with the way your blood cells work ( or don’t).

The doctor said it might get  better, or it might get worse,  it might just stay the same.  But people rarely come out of it the same as they were before.  It’s odd to think about that,  how  “normal”  things were before,  and how easily we can get  “broken”.

As a wise Sting once said, “How fragile we are? “. Ain’t that the truth!

On the plus side though, it’s given me a lot of time to think.  To pick  out the things from my life I treasure. The really important things that are “worth the energy” and also weeding out the things that simply are not. Because now, I really do have to choose. So you could say in that way I’m lucky, Silver linings ;) xxx

This post is dedicated entirely to Helen ( @HelenW71 ) and Kat (@secretsofabutterfly )  Without you both, these last few months would have been far more dark and confusing. Your both my hero’s ! X

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The Girl Crush Diaries

October 30th, 2011

So its Halloween weekend!

While lots of us will be making spider cupcakes and maybe donning a pair of cat ears (if we really push the boat out, ) in my imagination this lady will be wearing some full lenth crinoline corseted wedding dress type number with wildly big back combed hair and probably odd shoes. But she wont be “doing”  Halloween, because this is an everday kinda outfit for Miss Carter.

Although many a fashion blogger may have mocked, and even the lady herself readily admits she gets things epically wrong at times, I find her love of dressing up and not taking Fashion/Fame/Hollywood  so “paint by numbers“ seriously  hugely refreshing.

And despite her often unconventional sartorial choices, Vanity Fair named her on its 2010 Best-Dressed List and she seems to becoming a bit of a fashion darling  ( mostly after the Vivienne Westwood odd  shoes incident ) by all accounts, even selected by Marc Jacobs to be the face of his Autumn/Winter 2011 advertising campaign.

Although I’m actually not all that keen on Marc Jacobs (cynical?) use of her glorious eccentricities,  maybe people are finally “getting” her?  I think she’s just having a little  fun with what she wears, and in these times when there is so much to be sad about, a bit of frivolity perhaps isn’t such a bad idea? She cites Vivienne Westwood and Marie Antoinette as her main style influences, and really, quite frankly you can’t knock a girl for that, can you? !

Marc Jacob’s  Autumn / Winter Ad Campaign


Other interesting Girl Crush Facts  -

She famously “lives” with wonderful director Tim Burton, in conjoined artists’ studios. They each have their own side of the house with a adjoining door. At night they sleep in their respective dwellings. Not only is Tim an insomniac who likes to pace and watch TV, he says that she talks too much and that he needs some peace and quiet away from her. And anyway, counters Helena, he snores.

Helena’s great-grandfather was Herbert Henry Asquith, 1st Earl of Oxford and Asquith, Prime Minister of Britain from 1908–1916.

She is also related to French philanthropist Liliane de Rothschild (1916–2003), the wife of Baron Élie de Rothschild, of the prominent Rothschild family (banking dynasty).

She and partner Tim Burton, are close friends with swoon sum Johnny Depp, he is godfather to the couples  two children Billy and Nell.

Helena Quotes -

Multitasking? I can`t even do two things at once. I can`t even do one thing at once.

Famous people come up to me, but I don`t know who they are because my sight is so bad. It`s always at the pool of the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills when I don`t have my lenses in and my glasses are in my room.

My instinct anyway, unfortunately, as some people can tell, is to dress up. I do like dressing up, and I feel like you’re channelling different people. They might be very unfortunate creations or sometimes more fortunate.

I remember I did think, ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if Mr. Right moved in next door?….. ;)

Helena….. I loves ya, that is all!

x0x

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Miss Havisham’s Yummy Greek Meatballs ….

October 18th, 2011

miss Havesham

With me still being a bit poorly and house bound, I’m starting to feel like a modern day Miss Havisham! …well, Mrs Havisham ;) and  Big J has been doing all the shopping. Which is lovely of him. Only trouble is it can be a rather slap dash affair.  He doesn’t really think in terms of “meals” as such, more in the terms of “meat” and then the odd vegetable and when I say odd I do mean odd, we have two giant bags of onions ( in thinking of making onion soup ) and no potatoes. Two huge bags of apples, but no other fruit.  Oh except Mars bars, and Mars milk … Which according to Big J are as good as fruit…. Well, they  did used to say a Mars a day helps you work rest and play. But I do feel they may have been a little over optimistic!

Anyhow the upshot of all this is that I’ve become very inventive with my dinner menus. And so the Greek meatballs were born. And in so glad they were, they have a yummy warm sunnyshiny flavour of holidays and happy days. Perfect for a rainy October girl stuck at home ;) please try them and let me know what you think. I’m making them a weekly thing in my house now,  forever!

A slightly grumpy Miss Havisham approved !


For tomato sauce …
*cooks notes, this slow cooked tomato sauce would be great on it’s own with some pasta and nice bread, it also keeps really well in the fridge or freezer #just a thought ;) *

1 onion
4 fat cloves of garlic ( 5 if cloves are small)
Two teaspoons of dried oregano
I small green chilli ( seeds removed)
Half a teaspoon if cumin
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 tablespoon of butter
1 bottle of passata
Quarter teapoon of sugar
Teaspoon of sea salt ( maldon is my fave)
Teaspoon of black pepper

For the Meatballs …

450g pack of miced beef

1 slice of slightly stale bread

1 clove of garlic

3/4 of a pack of feta

dried chilli

black pepper

1 egg, beaten

To start the sauce put the oil and butter in a big pan over a medium heat. While the oil is heating put the onion, garlic, green chilli and  cumin in a food processor ( I have a really useful baby sized one great for doing stuff like this ) and blitz until you have a purée. ( if you don’t have a mixer, you could just chop everything up really fine, you will get a slightly different end result because your sauce won’t be smooth, but all the flavours will still be there. )

Once your oils just starting to bubble add your paste. Cook this off gentle for ten minutes over a low heat. Dont wander off and leave it at this stage as it can catch easily, and keep stiring ocashinally as  you don’t want the mixture to go brown. Just soften and release all those gorgeous flavours into the buttery oil.
Milly stirs my pan at this point ( with me very close by ) I have discovered she eats lots more dinner if she has helped cook it !
Anyway… So after the 10 mins slow cooking you add the passata. Pour the entire bottle in and then half fill the bottle with water and add that too, along with sugar, salt and pepper. Cook this ( pan lid off) for another ten mins.
It will look waterery at this stage but do not worry, it won’t look like this for long.
Now to make the meatballs…
This is great fun, and if you have them, you can get the kids to do it ;)
First your gonna make a paste in the food processor again.

This time you want to add 1 garlic clove, a hand full of fresh lemon thyme, *or a teaspoon of dried* a pinch of chilli flakes and three quarters of a pack of feta cheese ( even if your not used to, or don’t like this cheese, you won’t taste it as it melts into the sauce. Just leaving a lovely rich, salty, mediterranean flavour)
So blitz these ingredients together in the food processor ( or very finely chop ) . Then put the mince in a bowl with a tiny pinch of salt ( the feta is salty) and lots of black pepper ) break the egg add the breadcrumbs and then your fetta paste. Mix well, but gently and then form into balls. I try and aim for about a rounded teaspoon for each ball. But the most important thing is to make sure they are all roughly the same size, so they all are cooked at the same time.
Place your balls on a plate ( cough , don’t be rude ;) )
And get back to your pasta sauce, after about fifteen mins your sauce should be thickening up and looking rather lovely . Now we add about a cup of full fat milk and stir.
Now pop in the meatballs and cook with a lid partially covering,  for around 25 – 30 mins . ( *cooks notes*  Once there in, do not try and stir , as you’ll break up the lovely meatballs. )
Leave them to do there thing , while you cook the pasta.
Serve with a little scattered fresh basil for the kids, and maybe and extra crumbling of feta and a pinch
of smoked paprika for the “grown ups”.

{*cooks notes*} if, like me your trying to de-carb a bit, swap the pasta and serve the meatballs and sauce over a nice big bowl of seasoned spinach, with some of the feta crumbled over the top . The spinach will wilt slightly under the hot sauce and just be scrummy , promise! X

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The Girl Crush Is Back …

October 3rd, 2011

I haven’t done a girl crush post in a while and this one is really a girl *clothes* crush.

Let me explain, Im not in anyway a fashionista, which won’t surprise anyone on Twitter where I once spelt Michael Kors with a “C” , oh the shame !… Anyway,  I live in the “shire” with mostly old folk and moppy haired teens. So fashion is not a huge part of my life,  but I have fallen in love with Mary Katrantzou’s work.

I think if I could only buy one designer dress in my entire life  ( here’s hoping! )  it would be one of hers.  She uses pattern like an artist and her clothes are like pieces of art in the way Zandra Roodes early pieces were.   I love the lampshade skirts and the long dresses, and the boxy little jackets.  But most of all I love the glorious,  riotous,  wonderful prints.  Inspired by Fabergé egg’s,  Ming vases,  and trompe l’oeil , her pieces really do trick the eye, in an almost otherworldly way….

Sigh… the girls a genius, and shes Greek ! so quite frankly brilliant,  and refreshing! I’m in love!

What do you think, are you in on my girl crushing? Seems a few twinkly stars are ….

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Silent Sunday

October 2nd, 2011

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Autumn Pretty Autumn !

September 30th, 2011

So autumn is apon us, and to be honest I’m happy to see our rather muggy, damp squib of a  summer go.
Anyhow I LOVE autumn!  Golden leaves,  misty mornings,  bonfire night,  toffee apples,  Halloween!

And winter boots! much better than flip flops, I hate my feet, or anyones feet to be honest, but I digress…

Hmmm,  yes,  goodbye summertime,  hello lovely gorgeous, cosy bronze shaded autumn !
And to celebrate the season change I have searched the world wide Etsy web ( my favourite place ;)  to find the most beautiful things of the season. Roughly translated as me sitting on my butt lusting over beautiful things whilst shirking the ironing pile.   It’s a tough job,  but you guys mean a lot to me, and I know how you love you some pretty as much as I do …So,  Come see!  Come see…

( Ps, all items featured are made by REAL people and are available at Etsy )

The very pretty, swishy Autumn print dress is from Keeratika Munmongkol’s clothes collection .

Pretty Gold and green headband from Bethany Lorelle .

The stunning  Acorn headband is from Unusual fascinators , I just wish I had somewhere to wear it. A fairy princess wedding ?, brambly hedge Autumn ball perhaps?  I don’t know but it sure is pretty!

And the gorgeously dreamy  lace top, that I really, really am coveting for myself is from River of Romansk .  I pretty much desire everything they have to be honest, but this would go with everything! and lace is just so *in* darling!  ( I read it somewhere fashiony okay ;) ) So bonus !

How gorgeous are these little faced glass acorns? with real acorn caps?  I love them. Not sure what I’d do with them other than admire their sweetness, but I want em! Available  at whisper fairy.

The cushions are from RedMamma,  I love them and want about twelve for my bashed up leather sofa this winter, Bliss!

Okay, so there really is no *Autumn* connection to these frilly knickers, but I’m deeply, wholeheartedly  in LOVE with them. I think they are the prettiest thing  I’ve ever seen,  don’t you agree?

Santa baby, you know what I want this Christmas.  Many thanks  in advance ;D

( Frillies are from Espalore, and are made by Angela Friedman who works by day making corsetry and costumes for the New York Ballet.  Black swan eat your heart out,   how cool is that! )

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Milly Goes all Tantrumy …

September 24th, 2011

Small Note:

I wrote this post several weeks ago, but I’ve been too poorly too post ( poorly blog post to come, one to look forward too? !  hehe.

I have been torn about posting about it as I hope this has pretty much been a happy, light place to visit and didn’t want to get all heavy but then I don’t want to be dishonest here either ? difficult line to tread I think… but more on that another time ) .

I did think about ditching this post because Milly is a changed toddler lately, but I think it might be a comforting read for anyone in the midst of tantrum hell. I wont jinx myself and say it gets better, but there does seem to be some respite. Maybe call it time off for good Mummy behaviour ? ;D …..

—————————————————————————————————————-


Milly goes all “tanrumy” ( yes, I did just make that word up ;) )

Just lately something has happened to milly.

The adorable  baby of our family,  nicknamed by her siblings as *the golden child*  because of her good nature and angelic behaviour  has gone , well a bit rogue.  Last week we had cheese string gate ( as documented on twitter) where she screamed uncontrollably          at me for pulling her cheese string into too many pieces ?!  Only to take a break for five minuites before tantrum number two, this time because I wouldn’t let her eat handfuls of sugar … out of the bag .

I know it happens to all kids, that’s why they call it the terrible twos, right? ( although I do think this should be re named the terrible two – till fives to be honest! )
One night you tuck your tiny bundle of cuteness into bed, only to discover in the morning that she’s turned into Napoleon in a nappy !
Toddlers are ruthless in their attacks too.
Yesterday I took milly to the library. When we got to the counter with our book, the demon  librarian ( we have some history, she’s a militant jobs worth ;) )  told milly she couldn’t have the book  as we already had one out over due.

Milly just starred at Demon Librarian as if she was mad. As I tried to prise  “Dora Goes Potty ”  from her tiny little hands, she started to wail. A low growl at first, rising into a full on scream.

Everyone in the library turned to look,  milly started to cry. Big wet tears streaming down her face. The demon librarian took one look at milly and gave her the book  ” just this once ” , ” but make sure you bring it back on time ” she said quietly.

Milly just gave her a withering  “I should think so too”  look.  She’d  broken the demon librarian! … If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it could be done. I’ve seen this woman make little old ladies cry.

But then,  nobody messes with a temperamental toddler do they ?

Because once the tantrum ball gets rolling  there is no escape.  It’s a relentless, exhausting , no win type situation.
I over heard  Teen Ellie ask milly which side of the sofa she could sit on the other day, and poor Jack has given up trying to ever touch the TV remote.  Peppa Pig rules in our house.
Like some inhabitants of a country under the grips of a opressive tyrannical leader,  we  are all living in fear of Miss Tiny Temper .
Nobody would admit it but she knows , she knows…

There is another side to the toddler times though, they seem to have a huge realisation of love too.  They suddenly want to put both their tiny little arms around you and hug back fiercely,  rather than just be hugged.   They start to feel compassion too, often when I’ve had a hard, stressful day ( caused by milly, but still ) she’ll sit and rub my back gently and sing to me. She likes to brush my hair and  put on my make up for me too, I’m not sure I’d ever actually venture out in public  after  a Milly Makeover but still,  its the thought that counts I think.
This morning for example Milly  pressed her forehead against mine and whispered,  “I love you sooo much mummy” . Yes my heart melted , she did follow it up with a small tantrum because I wouldn’t let her jump on my head whilst wearing her new Minnie mouse welly boots, but you know, you can’t have everything ! xxxx

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The one where Jack gets stuck up a tree…

August 9th, 2011

This weekend Big J took Teen Ellie, Little Milly, Eleven boy Jack and my lovely step daughter Aime May (9) to the woods.

I usually go with them, but my Mum was over and I thought it would be nice to spend a few uninterrupted moments of peace with her before she headed home on the train. The little  house we all share can get a bit crowded on family weekends,  its odd like that with second families. One weekend its just me, Big J and Milly, the next its a full on house party!   all fun though.  Anyhow, I digress….

So Big J was at the woods with the kids, I was perched on the sofa with Mum, having a very strange conversation about your parents having sex… (don’t ask) when I got this text from Big J….

 ….after some snigger’s  (read falling about laughing) from both me and mum  ( bad mummy, bad granny ) we started to get a bit worried.  What if he was stuck really high? what if he broke his legs when he eventually jumped down? should we get a taxi and come and help?!….

Just before night fall, after a whole hour of waiting, with no phone or text contact (no signal in the woods) , they came home.

Eventually after much cajoling Jay had to just yank Jack down from his “great” height….

 LOL! I think even baby Milly could have jumped down from here without injury … but  he is so stubborn my boy, when he decided to be “stuck” he was staying stuck… thank god we didn’t need the fire brigade.

Lesson 1- Don’t let Jack climb tree’s … like, ever! …..

Lesson 2 – Boys can be bigger drama queens than girls….

Lesson 3 – Don’t let Jack go to the woods unaided ( read, without me) .. “or you might be in for a surprise,  if you let Jack go down to the woods today, you wouldn’t believe your eyes,  lalala …. ” Bless him!

Lesson’s  learned ! ;D

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3 Go To Spain… the big fat truth

August 3rd, 2011

So me, Milly Ickle and Big J Ickle have been on our hols to Spain,  and I think it was the 2nd most lovely break I’ve ever had!  (the first being just me and Big J in Greece (pre Milly) , think Mama Mia fabulous, but with more emphasis on sunbathing and “hows your father” than “who’s your father” ;D ) ….

Anyway, Spain was  blissful, no arguments, no stress, some sunshine and shopping!  Still the best way Ive found of *de-stressing* , even better than a hot stone massage, or 100 cups of  cat pee smelling chamomile and lemon tea in my opinion. 

But with every silver lining there is a cloud as they say, and this cloud was in the shape of some rather unnecessary fat shaped mounds  that seemed to go unnoticed by me,  until I got on holiday.

I had, had a few fat worries before going away.   But my friends had all assured me that I was more  Brigitte Bardot  than beached whale, and as my mum said, “there are always larger, older folk on the beach anyway love,”  “just lie next to them, instant weight-loss!”.

Unfortunately for me,  Big J and Milly had better beach dwelling ideas.  So we walked about 4 miles away from the ( mostly topless)  large, older people in  deep mahogany and over to the  beach climbing frame and pretty harbor.   It was much quieter after all,  and big J doesn’t do crowds .  Lovely it was too,  apart from the glaring obvious (to me anyway) thing….

This was also where all the beautiful young Spanish girls were. They mostly hang out in three’s. Outstretched together on towels,  they all add up to the size of  about one twiglet. One of them always seems to possess a hugely over sized, expensive SLR camera, and takes endless pictures of the other two.  Tiny baby shaped limbs draped over each other seductively… ( jealous moi?! ) ….

Occasionally their bright big eyes flash my way (yes, they probably did notice me gawping ) and they seem to whisper, “ go on lady, take that sun dress off,  show us what you got !” ….

( What I hoped to look like, what I think I actually looked like and the 3 twiglets! Okay… these are super models, but I swear they looked like this! )

As well as the the twiglets I also had lovely Big j proudly taking pictures. The thing about this was I had an instant reminder of my size. Its not like the old days when you had  to wait until after your hols to get your photos back, and immediately embark on the cabbage and maple syrup  diet.  Oh no… with an iphone its like,  instant .  One moment your skipping into the sea happily,  in your new  50′s pin up style swimming cozzie.   The next moment you can see you do not in fact look like a vintage movie star as previously believed, but,  you do bare a striking resemblance to Orca the whale… just Orca  in (vastly over priced, but promising magical slimming powers) swim suited  Lycra!

Needless to say I spent everyday after that on the beach in a dress, with absolutely no intention of  taking it off.  So this is when it hits me (along with the 30 degree heat) …

I have to loose weight,  not just a few pounds either. I don’t want to have to breath in at my own reflection anymore.  I don’t want to have to constantly be wondering “do I look fat in this?” or ” thats lovely,  but theres no way I could ever wear it”.

I know there are far more important things happening in the world, terrible hideous things that I never have to experience or understand, and I’m sorry if this all sounds very self absorbed, I really don’t mean it that way.  But I do understand being overweight is shrinking my world and making me sad. I don’t want to live like it anymore, and as much as I LOVE food, cooking food, dreaming up new recipes for food and eating FOOOOD! …  enoughs enough.

So its size ten or bust people!  I think I need to loose about two stone in all and I would love you fantastic lot to help me. If you see me tweeting about it being *wine o’clock* on twitter, stop me.  If you see me post  a pic of a giant frosted cup cake on Instragram urge me not to eat it! Yell at me, pull my hair… kick me in the shins, just don’t let me near food, okay guys?.

Thanku so much, together I know we can beat this! and in return I promise to post any recipes (of the low cal sort) that I make up, that are yummy. Okay ? Cool :D see you next time, and I promise I will not eat lard or drink wine in your absence. xxxx

Oh, and here are some happy pictures of our travels. We visited Alcudia on the island of Majorca, and stayed at the Condes De Alcudia (very basic, but great value =more money for shopping and food…cough sorry ! ) x

Milly plays I Spy.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spanish Street life!

 

 

 Sunset.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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