This week I went clothes shopping with Teen Ellie….
Since having Milly this has been a daunting task. The changing rooms seem to have got smaller, a whole lot hotter and the mirrors seem to be of the fun house variety, enlarging my bottom to mammoth like proportions!
I mostly shop Online for myself now, preferring the comfort of my own home with its trusty “kind” mirror. To give me the unwelcome news that I am not as skinny as I used to be!
I have always been very happy in my own size 10 skin. Now I have to get used to a whole new, rounder shape.
Other super skinny mums at school and the dreaded rise of the celebrity mum don’t help either. They seem to have shed their baby weight and now all resemble cute little Twiglet’s , whereas I am more the shape of a puffy Wotsit!
I am only a size 12, and I know that is in noway huge or anything, but its just not the body I am used to seeing!
Anyway this time, I struck shopping gold!
I found two fab new dresses and a pair of the prettiest shoes and I went home swinging my new bags full of lovely purchases that didn’t make me feel like a frump or mutton. Way-hay!!!!
But this newly found ethusiasm for clothes has made me wonder. Do I really want the agony of seeing food as my enemy? or do I just learn to be happy in my new skin?….
So, Ive put together the hard facts…..
Its either …
1 banana Slim-fast + Allot of grumpy mumbling = fitting in the skinny jeans lurking at the back of the wardrobe. ( I am *sure* every time I open the door they are sarcastically calling my name)
OR
4 big glasses of naughty midweek red wine + happiness and satisfaction = a nice comfy pair of black leggings and a flouty top with a V-neckline for a teeny tiny bit of newly ample boobie showing ( if you got it flaunt it….. I say… just a bit mind ;D )
OR maybe…
1 small tuna salad, a large glass of water + allot of will power = Slipping effortlessly into my skinny white vest, without the need to keep pulling it down over my muffin tops?
OR
A large slab (or two) of home made peanut butter fudge + hot sweet tea, at 4 in the morning after being awakened by the Milsta = A nice longer line tee and slightly bigger boyfriend cut jeans for minimal muffin exposure?
You get the picture, I guess what I’m asking myself is, do I want to be skinny? And by this what I really mean is, do I want to do what it *takes* to get back into my size 8-10′s? …. I think the answer is noooo!!!!
Not while the world is filled with sweet salty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (my new passion) , creamy gorgeous Gorgonzola and bottles of naughty red wine anyway!
So in the spirit of not giving a stuff, I made the gorgeous Sophie Darl’s peanut butter fudge this week. I changed it ever so slightly with the addition of more peanuts and icing sugar, but essentially this yummy recipe is hers. in her words, “the doctor may not recommend it, but i would!” so would I Sophie!!!!
Ps. the pic is of a batch of the fudge I made for my lovely mate Sarah. She spent last week in New York and braved the cool kids in nyc’s branch of Abercombie & Fitch to get Ellie some lovely new pretties. She is also responsible for my Reese’s peanut cups habit, as she bought me some back. This fudge is just like the slightly salty, very sweet center of those cups of lovely American dreaminess! ahhhhh…..
OH GO ON.. give em a go, and just like they say on the adverts…”love the skin your in!” ;D
Peanut butter Friendship Fudge, Fudge!
150 grams of Butter,
500 grams of Dark Brown Sugar,
A splash of Vanilla Essences (I recommend the good “real” stuff )
250 grams of Peanut butter,
Large handful of unsalted crushed peanuts
(This is my addition and optional, but yummy!.. You can crush em using a rolling pin and a plastic bag. Great therepy on a bad day too!)
300 grams of Icing Sugar (have a couple of cups extra on hand if needed, I did)
Melt the butter in a large pan with the brown sugar. When melted add the vanilla and the peanut butter, and crushed peanuts (if using) and stir until all the peanut butter has melted and combined nicely with the sugar and butter.
Then all you do is pour the yummy syrupy mixture into a large bowl and add the sifted icing sugar slowly. You do have to stir quite vigorously (which makes you feel a bit better about eating the fruits of your labor 
) . But soon it should start coming together to a mass, rather than a liquid, in the bowl. I found I need about another cup and a half of icing sugar for this to happen, but just keep stirring and adding until the magic happens.
Then all you need is a greased tin to plonk it in (I used a heavy, loose bottomed cake tin. But anything will do) and then into the fridge it goes to set. This usually happens in about 30 mins, after that just cut it up roughly and enjoy, nom-nom-nom! XXX
I say eat! I’m a size 16 and was probably a 14/16 before I had kids and I’m now at the larger side of a size 16 but to be hinest I don’t care. That’s not to say I don’t care what i look like because i do and I like to look nice but life is too short to be worrying about the size of my thighs/stomach/bottom etc. Life is too short!
Good on you Lynsey!,
XXXX
I bet you look fabulous! As a mum of a teen who is a size 12 (not the usual twig like teen) I know its hard to get there… No-one wants to be unhappy in their own skin, but we dont want to spend our entire life torturing ourselves every-time we put something in our mouth either.
Our bodies change, we have to learn to love em in my opinion
I love my (non-pregnant) size 12-14. You do what is reasonable and healthy and makes you happy, girl!
Thanku lovely mwa, as usual you are very wise X
I must add that I don’t eat cheese, red wine and chocolate ALL the time, ;D I just don’t want to give them up completely XXX
I am on the larger size and would love to be a little smaller, but all the meds etc make me like this. I think the key is to present a happy, healthy body image. I dont remember my mum dieting, which is why I thinnk I would never diet. We eat heathily, MadDad and I eat pretty similar, I just eat smaller portions and he is lighter than me! I am pretty active with the boys too. I little of what you like isnt bad.
I agree yummy MADS, I think a little of what you fancy is very important!
Honestly, this could be me!
I am reaching a similar point myself too of thinking that maybe I need to learn to love myself as a size12 now because hey, this is what happens after you have a tribe of children and like the finer stuff in life. I have tried really hard to loose my last bit of weight and to be honest, it just isn’t shifting so maybe like you, I just need to learn to embrace it!
Great post as ever – I think you are absolutely spot on xxx
Thanku yummy! I am glad I’m not alone, although not wishing u any wobbly parts obviously:)
… but never mind, at least we have leggings! X
I think age doesn’t help either. I know since I hit 30 the usual just cutting out crisps for a week and miraculously losing half a stone just wont work any-more. Any remaining baby fat just hangs on like my life depends on it! honestly I wish my body would just get with the program, more food is always on its way
Oh yes, I LOVE leggings ; )