This week has been a toughy with my middle son Ten Boy Jack. As his name suggests he’s Ten, and just hit that age.
He hates school, he hates his big sister (who teases him relentlessly) and I think sometimes he hates me too.
I know he is just flexing his baby man muscles and trying to find his place in the family now he’s growing up, but the constant answering back and always knowing better stuff can get a bit waring at times.
Last week he was banned from anything with a screen, an ingenious plan that Big J came up with. It meant that for a week he had no TV no INTERNET, no i pod touch, no x box 360 and no Nintendo ds…. for Jack, this basically meant no life!
But still by the end of the week he was muscling up and giving all the back chat, so even though painful he got banned for another 3 days, gutted!
Sometimes its hard, I’m a big softie so he has a few big doe eye and even bigger tears tricks that he likes to pull on me.
And I also have a irrational fear, as a split family and somehow especially as he’s a boy, I have this horrible fear in the pit of my stomach that he’ll want to go live with his Dad some day.
His dad is Mr Cool, he has a big fancy schmancy job in London, a big house, huge garden and a dirt bike. He also loves to surf, has a VW camper, A-team stylie pimped up van ….and a dog!
Until recently I could live all with that, I’ve just grown found of whispering “midlife crisis” under my breath.
But now he has a trump card….. a new girlfriend who jack LOVES! (and I think maybe has a secret baby crush on).
She’s pretty, blonde, young, skinny, tall, wares high heels, has a amazing job, and comes from a rich family , oh aaand is brilliant at house work!
Jack actually said to me the other day, “daddies girlfriend love’s cleaning…maybe we could invite her round to clean here?….. I very f@#*ing much think not Jack!
God Love Him… I love our little family and couldn’t wish for a single drop more happiness, honestly!
But I sometimes wonder if, since beautiful Milly was born and the baby of the family title moved to her, whether Jack feels a bit pushed out?
Sometimes I wonder if…. me and Big J are the bad guy’s, and his Dad is just “Mr weekend perfect”…. am I gonna lose him?
Well this morning, after yet another crying and kicking his bed session Jack pushed this under my bedroom door, it kind of blew alway all my fears and put a big smile back on my face, so thank you Jack….You’ll always be my boy, too! xxxxx
Poem By Jack, aged 10 and 2 months…..
Mum,mum….
Mum, mum I’ll always be your son,
I’ll always Love you, even if you chew my thumb,
Forever and ever Mummy, Mum, Mum,
You make me yummy ham buns,
Sometimes I am clever and often I’m dumb,
Mummy, Mummy your as sweet as honey,
Mummy your sooooo funny,
I will love you Day & Night,
And your are such a lovely sight,
MUM MUM.
Bless him…p.S though, in case your wondering…. I have never chewed his thumb, its just a rhyming thang ;D x
Sat here crying! That poem is so gorgeous!
thanku hun! its so bitter sweet having kids that’s for sure, but stuff like that makes it worth while doesn’t it xxxxxx
How wonderful you must feel after getting that poem. It’s made me feel up. I can understand your fear but i hope this poem shows you how much your son loves you xxx
Thanku for stopping by and commenting Sara.
It really does, I think you always worry when your part of a divorced parents set up.
Its just so easy for Dad to be cool for a short time! But I think ur right Jack has his head screwed on right xxxxxx
I am sat here in tears, what a moving poem. What a wonderful little man you have there. Mine are backchatting at 3 and 5 and I banned the wii!
Thanku for taking time to comment Madhouse mum (always feels funny calling u that, might start calling u mads
Really glad it moved you …moved me too! he’s still a little bugger at times but I’m sure that poem was from the heart xxx
Crying here too. That is so gorgeous and as a first timer who has a one year old boy I already feel sad at how quickly he is growing up. Already I know that one day he won’t need me anymore, even if it is a long way off.
Thanku Emily! they do grow up way too fast! Milly is my 3rd and at 16 months the time is already flying by. Goes faster with each child I think!
xxxx
Awwww, I’m in bits here *sniff*
I have a 12 year old who does the old baby man muscle thing so I feel your pain ; )
But a poem like that..ohhhh.. it makes up for it all.. He loves you sooooooooo much and sometimes, it is a nice thing to be shown it xxxx
it sure is Sarah, makes up for all the door slaming and face pulling xxxxx
I feel for you with the flexing the muscles thing. My son turned 11 two weeks ago and has been like this for a few months. One minute he’s fine, and the smallest thing sets him off and we’re the worst parents on the planet and he wishes he could go a live somewhere else. As far as the dad thing is concerned, I’m sure that if he lived with his dad and came to you at weekends, you’d be Mrs Cool as his dad would be the one laying down the law and doing the every day thing. We quite often get sorry notes shoved under the door, but that poem is lovely x
big lol Lisa! so true, the notes under the door trick is as old as time, think i remember doing one or two for my mum! he won me over with this one tho..bless him xxxx
That is just lovely! Big Hugs.
I have a 10yr daughter that seems to push the limits at the moment, don’t know if the hormones are kicking in, but I agree with Lisa on the Dad front. I have one or two friend’s who had been in the same position as you and they felt the same but in the end the kid’s grew up knowing who was the cool one in the end. xx
Awww! That is just so lovely, what a wee soul. I guess it’s normal for him to think that the parent he doesn’t most often is the more exciting one, they’re the one that gets to do just fun stuff! I can remember giving my Mum grief as she was the one I could trust, the one who would love me no matter what. Thats what makes us Mums so bloody special! Sounds like you’ve got a good boy there.
Awwwww. He reminds me so much of my youngest (even looks like him!). He’s always pushing the boundaries – lives down the skate park , and like you, I’m the softy whereas his Dad will take his phone away for a week without blinking!!
Don’t ever worry – you’ll always be his Mum. No blonde clean freak will EVER take that away from you xx
Thats the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever read. A tad sniffly now
I’ve actually been thinking that my eldest has suddenly grown up over night…and not my baby anymore. Like Lisa said, if the boot was on the other foot, I’m sure you’d be Mrs cool, and Dad would be the big bad rule maker. They need it though, they even want someone to say ‘you can’t do that’ and show them the way. He’ll grow up into a fine young man, and he’ll know just who to thank for it!
You sound like a fabulous Mum, and Jack obviously loves the bones off you too.
Thank you for sharing this. xx
We had it with Sam last year, giving cheek and the like but when her teacher wrote about it on the end of year report I was mortified. So I banned Disney Channel! Hannah Montana and the like (although most probably not in your house!) have a LOT to answer for. She has been a bit moody though in the last couple of months and can cry at the drop of a hat. God only knows what it will be like when she’s 16 (she only 9 now!!!)
Mother’s Day was last week for us here in the US. My daughter wrote me a poem that made me realize she had all these thoughts and emotions I never imagined for her when she was a baby. As a friend of mine pointed out, it runs deep. Your son has so much to say, outside of the “back talk.” It runs the gamut: fear, anxiety, love, anger, jealousy, etc. He loves you deeply, like only a son can love a mother. So hang in there, for there’s a roller coaster ride coming still for the both of you. And hang on the the highs as long as you can. And when you anticipate the lows, close your eyes and grit your teeth!
I have had the weekend off and have come back to the computer to find all your lovely comments!!!
Thanku for them all its nice to know I have a mummy circle that spans right across the world, who all “get it”
It is soooo tough to be a mum. As lovely Richela said (and Ronan Keating I think ;D) it is a total roller coaster of feelings, just really glad your all here to chat too on the ride! xxxxxx
Gorgeous poem! Banning everything with a screen – genius!
Another pefect post, saying it as it is. I love the pic’s of Jack, says it all. Totally know where you are coming from My eldest has not seen his father since I re-married 7 years ago. I always live in dread that he will swan back into our lives and turn everything upside down. In the end you have to trust your son to make his own decisions. I think we often don’t give them credit for seeing the reality in life and yes Jack’s dad might seem attractive with all he has to offer, but it’s the long term that is the real test and also the love of Mum. Noone can replace that, no matter how much they have materially. My eldest has had to deal with a lot of change since the twins came along, but all it takes is a hug from him and I know WHERE HIS heart belongs. XXX
Thanku Karen, I think your so right, they know what’s right in the end, she says fingers and toes crossed ;D xxx
Beautiful! I’m sure you’ll never lose him. Sounds like you have a normal, wonderfully challenging ten year old who will clearly make you proud.
Thanku Lottie and Rock and Roll Mummy! xxxxxx
What a lovely boy you have there you should be very proud, and he obviously adores his mummy so I don’t think you have anything to worry about! x
wow thats a really lovely poem, especially from a 10 year old boy. Whenever you have that moment of doubt they always manage to pull something out of the bag to make you melt.
I love this article . Jack is really a wonderful boy
OMG out of the mouths of babes! He knows which side his bread is buttered but like my daughter they are fighting for independence but still like to be the little baby who needs their mum (does that ever really change however old we get?) your post made me laugh like a drain…don’t think your house could ever get filthy enough to need her to come & clean?! But it also summed up the ups & downs of pre teens mixed with everyone in a household perfectly, there are still moments of tenderness & sweetness amongst the shouting, balling, huffing, flouncing, eyeball rolling, slaming of doors & general kevin like behaviour!
Thanku Niki, so glad I made you laugh, that’s the thing about kids tho I think, they give you loads of heartache but far more laughter ;D xxxx