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When I was growing up I used to adore Christmas!

There was something truly magical about it all in a way you never get to experience once you’ve grown up.

The excitement of Christmas eve and the rustle of the stocking being put at the bottom of my bed by a slightly tipsy Santa (mum) . The amazing feeling at about five in the morning waking up and jumping to the end of the bed just to check “he’d” been. The agony of being asked to go back to bed for just a few more minutes!

The food, that started with selection boxes at about 7 am ( the only time of the year I was allowed  to eat chocolate before lunch!) the bacon butties the big turkey, more chocolate, Christmas tea of salmon sandwiches cut into triangles and wheeled out on a gold painted hostess trolley! (my mum was big on Christmas ceremony, and thought this was the height of posh!)

She also had a gold Christmas dress that she wore every year. So different from the usual “mummy clothes” she wore the rest of the year , it was shiny and had shoulder pads and I always thought she looked like Sue Ellen from Dallas in it!

Oh, and then there was the annual trip to the big Christmas lights of London! A day off school and a 2 hour train journey was all it took to be whisked to another world of Christmas magic. we always used to go to Hamiliys toy shop to look for what Santa might buy us and I remember it being such a special experience. I think in hindsight me and my little brother were probably quite spoilt but I never think I took it for granted and I always remember it being my absolute favorite and most happy time of the year!

Then I grew up… and slowly the magic eroded a little. Christmas as a mum is full of stress as well as happiness and sometimes I am even guilty of the occasional sigh…its nearly Christmas…. rather than a whoop, whoop hooray!!

Last Christmas had a profound effect on my feelings towards it too.

It all started about a month before, with my eldest daughter Eloise being ill. She had a bad headache that just wouldn’t go away, we ended up at casualty with her twice as it was so bad, but they sent us home saying it was migraines.

Then after a weekend of up and down pain Ellie woke up on Monday morning and said she couldn’t feel her hand or arm, about five minutes later she began to slur her speech and at that point she couldn’t walk properly. Me and my ex husband carried her to the car. And rushed the 30 minute drive to hospital. On the way there she was sick and very confused, she was in and out of consciousness.

I was petrified as we rushed into the casualty department  and then through to the children’s ward, I remember thinking we must have looked a sight with my ex husband running down the corridors with Ellie in a “borrowed wheel chair” he had taken on the way in and a very round pregnant woman trying to keep up behind him! (i was seven and a half months pregnant with Milly at the time)

I wish I could say Eloise was rushed through to see a doctor, but we were made to wait an agonizing time by the staff nurse from hell with Ellie vomiting and in agony, it was only when she became conscious for a second and asked me to help her that we insisted we got seen.

As soon as the head honcho doctor saw her he had her whisked through to ex ray on a trolley, on the way the nurse asked Ellie some simple questions, whats your name sweet heart? what school to you go to? whats the year? it broke my heart as she slurred her answer… she didn’t know.

The ex ray was to check for a brain tumor and as I was pregnant I couldn’t go in with her. I just say outside and waited, I remember thinking this cant be happening, this cant be happening.

When she was wheeled out the doctor viewed the ex ray straight away, and the news was good, no brain tumor.

We were taken to a children’s ward full of Christmas lights and tinsel and told Ellie may have meningitis. I remember the Christmas decorations seemed jarring with the surroundings and there was a buzzing in my head that I couldn’t shift. I watched as they put the drip in Ellie’s arm and just sat numb and waited. We were there about 4 hours when they made the decision to move Ellie to Addenbrookes I remember it was bizarre  being in the back of the  ambulance blue lights flashing having to hold up the beepy monitor thing that feed Ellie her drip.

When we got to  Addenbrookes  it was early hours of the morning, the antibiotics through the drip seemed to be having some affect and Ellie started to come round.

Then there were 2 lumber punctures and drips inserted into Ellie’s chest ,7 days later she was well enough to go back to Peterborough hospital. 3 days after that she was home.

The relief was overwhelming , it was 2 weeks before Christmas.

We had a nurse come for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening to give Ellie her drip. The thing they attached her too was huge and took up the corner where the Christmas tree usually stood so instead of a tree we wrapped tinsel around it.

On Christmas eve Ellie had her final dose of antibiotics and the drip contraption was gone, we managed to find a slightly sad looking tree and decorated it on Christmas eve night.

It was a very strange Christmas and I don’t remember much about it if I’m honest. I don’t remember the presents we got the kids or even who cooked Christmas dinner, I think after all the stress of the past weeks I just couldn’t  feel anything anymore.

So here we are a year on and I am happy to say Ellie is 100% better, it took until about May time for the headaches to subside but she is finally well.

So I have decided this year is going to be the year I bring back some Christmas magic, with it being little Milly’s first Christmas and everybody well and happy it seems like we have a lot to be thankful for!

It just goes to show that no mater how hard things seem they usually turn out OK  in the end, it just takes time sometimes for the magic to come back.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 at 6:14 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.